The “Bakit” Archives: From Glamping Disasters to JOMO (Part 1)

I thought we were going glamping.”

That was the exact sentence i muttered while wedged sideways to squeeze my hips inside a pitch-black, humid cave, trying to squeeze my hips through a limestone gap barely wider than a toaster. There was mud on my face, a mysterious scrape blooming on my left knee, and my headlamp was flickering out.

My friend had pitched this weekend as a “serene nature retreat.” She used words like conditioned tents, charcuterie boards, and unplugging. She conveniently left out the part about rapelling doen a damp cliff face and crawling on belly-level gavel to look at stalagmites.

On my fifth abrasion of the afternoon, hanging off a rock wall while questioning every life choice that led me to this precise coordinate, I yelled out to no one in particular: “Why am doing this?”

The single moment of mid-climb regret birthed my new life philosophy: The “Bakit?” List.

We all know about Bucket Lists - those lofty, inspirational goals of things you want to do before you kick the bucket. But in your thirties and beyond, you start accumulating a completely different set of questions. These aren’t deep, philosophical queries. They are the absurd, everyday “why” moments of adult survival. It is the art of questioning why we subject ourselves to unnecessary physical, social, and emotional stress when we could simply be resting.

To kick off this brand-new blog series, we are tackling the high stakes world of dating, socializing, and social energy preservation.

1. Bakit Kailangan ng 48-hour notice, written notice, at barangay clearance bago tayo lumabas? (Why do we need 48-hours advance notice, written notice, and a local permit just to hang out? )

Spontaneity was fun in our twenties. Today, asking me out on a Friday afternoon is an insult to my carefully curated evening of doing absolutely nothing.

2. Bakit mas masarap matanggap ang text na “Hey, soft cancel muna tayo tonight” kaysa sa promotion sa trabaho? (Why does getting a “Hey, can we soft cancel tonight?” text is better than getting a job promotion?)

That sudden rush of freedom when a friend cancels plans is better than any spa day. You get to put your bra back in the drawer and immediately order takeout.

3. Bakit and “Saan tayo kakain?” ang pinaka delikadong tanong sa relationship? (Why is “Where are we eating?" the most dangerous question in a relationship?)

It starts as a polite converstion and ends three hours later with both of you staring blankly into space, starving because one person wants soup and the other refuses to eat near a mall.

4. Bakit kailangang mag-book ng ride, mag hanap ng parking at mag bayad ng entrance fee para lang makipag chikahan kung pwede naman sa couch ko? (Why do I need to book a ride, hunt for parking, and pay an entry fee just to chat when we could do that in my couch?)

The math just doesn’t add up anymore. Paying premium prices for loud music where you have to scream just to ask how someone's week went is officially retired.

5. Bakit mas exciting mag decline ng party invitation kaysa mag dress-up para sa mismong event? (Why is it more exciting to decline a party invite than to actually dress up and go?)

There is a quiet power in sending a polite "so sorry, I can't make it!" text while you are already cozy in bed by 8:30 pm watching a crime documentary.

Protecting your peace is a top-tier self-care. Socializing should nourish your spirit, not drain your soul. If an event requires uncomfortable shoes, impossible parking, or crawling through a cave when you were promised a luxury tent, it is totally okay to say no.

What is your favorite go-to excuse for cancelling plans last minute?

¹Photo: Image by <a href="https://pixabay.com/users/robinhiggins-1321953/?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=2681507">Robin Higgins</a> from <a href="https://pixabay.com//?utm_source=link-attribution&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=image&utm_content=2681507">Pixabay</a>